The CODE

Birthing class? Sure, why not? That's what you do right about this time, right? The whole breathing, husbands akwardly coaching you on the floor in a huge room full of fat strangers that all have to pee all the time.

There's more:

I like to call it THE CODE. It's that unwritten rule for all the Mom's that have given birth, that says they just don't talk about certain things to all those niave first-timers. You know, those things, like what's really going to happen, the screaming, painful, tearing, peeing - ewe, I know!, legs up in the air, ass exposed for hours part of that blessed day approching.

...It's not glamorus, I'm well aware! But I did have (in the back of my mind) that I would be an exception - this tough chick with my running shoes on sprinting into the delivery room and popping out this kid and leaving with my jogger and baby in towe...ok, let me dream!

Well folks, THE CODE was broken. Yep, no holding back from this crazy violator lady. She told us everything - how dare she! I nearly puked, cried during the videos, and left there in total fear. What a day. How am I going to do this? I'm tainted!